Lincoln Alexander: a birth story

My experience with the process of birth has changed me. It was and has been one of the most spiritually driven pieces of my life, which is humbling as it marks the beginning of my Lincolns life here on earth. The experience has been empowering; teaching me of my strength, my ability to trust, and maintain a place of peace deep within my soul. What more could I ask for as I embark on this journey as a mother.

Choosing a direction for my birth plan was something I wanted to research to be sure I really understood my options. It wasn't till my time in Ghana that I even began to think to ask the question of a natural birth. My experiences with the birth process within the village of Antwikwaa are some of my dearest and most sacred moments while in Ghana. I learned to connect with what it means to be a woman on such a different level through their birth process. I was strengthened through their courage, and trust for their bodies ability to birth. I can't even begin to describe the connection I felt to those women through the process of admiration for the way they embrace the innate power of being a woman and mother.

My decision to strive for a natural birth was deeply spiritual as was my decision to give birth within a birthing center. Neither of which I feel is the right decision for everyone. I feel God is very aware of how his children are brought into this world, and I felt his presence strongly as Kenny and I prayed and sought answers to what our birthing experience would look like. I was fully aware that I may end up in a hospital, with an emergency c-section, or an epidural. All of which would not have been failures to me. I am by no means anti hospital, and felt completely calm at the thought of being transferred if something medically necessary came up. I fully trusted my midwives, and knew they would advocate for the birth experience I wanted when I wasn't in a state to do so. More than anything I knew I would have been most upset if I let my fears make my decisions, rather than my trust in the peace I had been given through prayer.

Looking back on my preparations for this birth process I feel grateful for those that questioned my decision, it strengthened my resolve, pushed me to ask more questions, and in the end further confirmed the truth I already knew about my birth decision. Kenny and I are given direction for our family, and the decision to give birth naturally in a birthing center could not have come with more peace and reassurance for the both of us.

Annnd so begins my infamous contractions and labor...

My Braxton Hicks switched to actual labor contractions around March 25th. I had consistent contractions for the next week or so. I could change my position etc., and the contractions would remain the same. They didn't require me to necessarily breath through them, but they were uncomfortable to say the least. At work I was standing up periodically throughout groups to ease the contractions. All the signs were pointing to my body preparing for labor. My midwives told me any day now, but the hardest part for me was mentally staying engaged in the fact that I could potentially go two weeks past my due date...and mentally I was not prepared for that, but was attempting to be. (kudos to my Martha for doing that with both her boys--yikes)

Starting April 1st the contractions starting picking up. They would surprise me at work, and I'd find myself mid sentence not being able to talk. I swear you can see labor on someones face, because seriously I remember looking in the mirror that morning thinking whoa you look exhausted. Between my 6 times of peeing each night, and trying to sleep through contractions...sleep was already my long lost friend. On top of that lack of sleep I got a nasty cold so breathing through my stuffed nose was just sad. Everyone at work was questioning whether I would even be there the next day. Same thing on April 2nd so Kenny and I decided to go walking. I "hiked" up those capitol stairs 6 times that wednesday night...I thought I might die on the way home the contractions were so strong. I could barely walk/waddle through them, and yet I was laugh crying because of what I just did to myself. I could tell in Kenny's eyes he was wondering if he should laugh alongside me, or run home and grab the car. I imagine a pregnant woman is slightly like a ticking time bomb for a husband. Not quite sure what the outcome will be.

Thursday I spent the day setting up for the Alumni Tea at work. Oh my days the contractions were strong. I went to my prenatal after work, and they told me I was 35% effaced and dilated to a 2. While they were monitoring the baby I had a contraction, and the midwives told me they thought I wouldn't last till next week because of the length of intensity. I've heard of people being dilated to 2 for weeks so I tried to swallow that information, and headed home for my ward shower. During the shower I would find myself having to breath slightly through conversations as I worked through the contractions. They were still consistently coming a couple an hour and lasting about a minute (day 3 of this). I went to bed around 11:00, and woke up about 3 times to pee between 11:00 PM to 3:00 AM. By 3:00 I woke up because of the intensity of the contractions. I found myself automatically going to that famous in labor breathing. How convenient that these things come naturally. I decided to time the contractions, and did so for the next 2-3 hours. They were coming about every 5-7 minutes and lasting anywhere from a 1-1.5 minutes. Around 5 I woke up Kenny and told him I thought we were having a baby today!! This stage of my labor lasted till about noon, and then the contractions slowed to be about every 10 minutes apart. Kenny and I went to city creek to walk around, and hoped to start these contractions back up. They consistently stayed about 7-10 minutes apart, but still had the same length. My midwife had me come in around 8:00 that night to check me. I was a little further effaced and barely a 3. They told me my cervix was completely behind his head because of how low baby boy was so that could be effecting my dilation process and intensity of labor. I could feel my insides try to swallow the news. They gave me 4 magnesium pills and a tylenol pm to help me sleep that night and slow the labor.

I got home and took a bath as directed hoping and praying I would be able to sleep and get some energy back. However, the contractions decided to intensify instead, and by 10:30 they were coming every 5 minutes. At about this point I hit a wall. I was so tired, and so struggling to believe I was progressing. I wanted to just cry. If only my contractions would let me cry and wallow in self pity for a moment--haha ya right. This is the only point of my labor I thought about an epidural. I was practically visualizing myself in the hospital with it. Instead I asked for a blessing from Kenny. I needed some direction. Within his first sentence the peace came back, and the doubt left me. Those helpless tears turned to resolve. I was going to do this, and I could do this.

The contractions were so intense I was on my hands and knees breathing through them (the ENTIRE night). It took all my focus to stay engaged and breath through them. In between I would collapse on my bed, and literally find myself fall asleep for 4 minutes in between contractions. Kenny was my rock. He rotated heat packs on my back, and massaged me through my back labor. I really think my scoliosis made the back labor so much worse. I'm so grateful I was dedicated to my prenatal yoga.

Kenny didn't fall asleep once through my entire night of labor. By around 2 or so they were coming every 3-4 minutes. When I had to get up and go to the bathroom they would come right on top of each other. Going to the bathroom could not have been more painful I might add. Also breathing through contractions with a head cold is horrible. By around 5:00 AM I found myself praising the heavens I was still alive and made it through the night and begging Kenny to call my midwife and tell her about the night. They told me to come in and they would check me. On my way out the door I threw up all over. I had to stop and work through 2 contractions on the way to the car. The drive was a blur of painful/uncomfortable/awfulness. By 6:00AM we made it to the birthing center. I was checked and was at a 7. Praise the heavens I was having a baby.

They had me go upstairs and get settled, and I tell you what I had a huge burst of adrenaline to know my labor was actually progressing. They hooked me up to some IV fluids because of my exhaustion, and poor shaking body. I was slightly in shock so my body was struggling to regulate temperature and also my legs were like jello. After the IV bag I got into the tub...heaven on earth I tell you. I worked through transition in the tub, and honestly it couldn't have gone more smoothly. I could feel his head by the end of it, and felt the end so near. I started having the urge to push, and tried that for a little bit but wasn't progressing. They checked me and told me his head was slightly twisted the wrong way so he wouldn't be able to move past my pubic bone. So there I was leaving my heavenly tub to do exercises and stretches to get my baby to turn a little. They had me lay on the bed, and cross my leg across the other while bent and work through a couple contractions in that position. I was practically whimpering crying through them. I had the urge to push, and instead I was crossing my legs and holding him inside me. It was horrible. I couldn't move through the contractions either. During this process I received more IV fluids, and eventually was checked and told my baby boy had shifted just like he was supposed to!

They decided to have me start pushing on the birthing stool. Kenny's arms around me holding and essentially bracing my weak and tired body were my saving grace. As I pushed with all the energy I had left in my sleepless body the words he whispered into my ears helped me to find the energy from some other part of me I didn't know existed. The pain and intensity of the pressure...I have no words, but in the same sentence I knew I could do it, and eventually it would end in my beautiful baby. The midwives were encouraging me to breath louder, longer, and at least 3 pushes through each contraction. I just remember their voices affirming me over and over again. "Just like that McKell. You are doing it. Look at his head. You are beautiful. Watch yourself bring this baby into the world." In the intensity of such a moment the room felt so still, and full of a strength centered on me. So much belief and love empowering me to do this. I saw the faces of my women often during the toughest parts of the labor. I felt them with me in a way I've never felt before encouraging this most beautiful part of being a woman. I could hear my Sammy telling me the village was praying for my safe delivery. I felt their prayers as if they were in the room speaking them to me. Even through my pushing I felt such a calm.

Oh how grateful I am to say I was aware and present for ALL of his beautiful labor and birth. watching his head slowly make progress during the hour I pushed was unbelievable. Getting his head past my pubic bone was like finishing a marathon. No one will ever appreciate the size of his head the way I do. I worked my bum off for every inch of that beautiful 14 inch noggin. I felt every bit of his entry into this world, and it was beautiful. I have never been more vulnerable, and it allowed me to feel such a beauty and love for myself and my femininity.

Eventually my baby boy crowned and shortly after his head made its way out, and I was able to help grab him as the rest of him slid out with ease (the head sure paved the way). As I pulled him onto my chest my first thought was, he is huge, and that is the most precious nose I've ever seen. He came out with such a scowl, and his perfect chubby nose was creased in such a crusty. I knew I couldn't be more in love with him. All I could say was I love you over and over again through my tears, and the minute he heard my voice his cries settled, and he opened his beautiful eyes and just stared up at me.

That is the moment I knew I was a mom.

The connection I felt with him is one I will never be able to put into words, but I do know that my understanding of Gods love for his children changed. I have never felt so much love before, especially for my Kenneth. I don't know how you doubt his existence and desire for your happiness when you look at the beauty in loving someone so much you have the ability to create life together. Lincoln is a love child through and through. Every bit of his life began because of how deeply I love his dad. Not many kids are born into something so beautiful, and I am humbled to be able to give that to my child.

They weren't lying about the release of endorphins after you give birth. I was in a happy state of heaven. I literally was laughing as they stitched up a couple of my small tears. (Thank heavens for midwives that massaged me during breaks in contractions and helped lessen my tearing). There were so many moments over the next several hours where I would find myself in a heaven on earth I've never felt before cuddled next to Kenny, with our little boy against my chest. I have never felt so complete. I kept looking at Kenny through tears...we made a human, the cutest little human!!

One of the most beautiful parts of the entire day was watching my family and loved ones love on my baby boy. Watching the emotions of those I love most was humbling. I could not have been more blessed when it comes to family. I am already daydreaming of the moment my Madi gets to meet our little Lincoln.

All in all Lincolns birth was everything and more than I could have hoped for. The gratitude within my soul is oozing into every bit of my life. I literally could not be more obsessed with my little family. God is good.

Lincoln Alexander Schreiner
Born April 5, 2014 at 2:19 PM --- Due date April 9th
Weighing 8lbs 13oz and 22 inches long 

This video was filmed by my brother Conor. By some miracle everything worked out for him to fly out for work the week before I had Lincoln. He flew home on my due date...thank goodness Lincoln came early! I have watched this video over and over again, and can't wait to watch the rest of the footage he took during the birth process. I will cherish this forever. Love you Conor!!