sis burgon.

About 2 weeks before I left on my crazy month long adventure Madi and I were on the phone, and she told me she had decided to go on a mission. Shock is what I then entered into, and to be quite honest I knew it was coming. I have had such testimony building feelings and impressions about this changed missionary age. Madi and I had talks about the changed age, and it was as if God was preparing me because he knew I would put up a fight to keep her here with me. 

After we talked on the phone I walked into the kitchen and burst into those achey selfish--how dare she leave me--tears. After we left my parents house I cried the entire way home. The thought dawned on me that Kenny and I might start our family while she is gone, and to think that my sister might not be there when I have my first baby has had me in random fits of sobs for the past couple of weeks. I can't tell you the amount of times I've looked at Kenny tears streaming down my face-- "I really don't want her to leave me". 

I left to Ghana in whirl of craziness and the reality of her putting her papers in shifted to the back of my mind. When I talked to my parents on the phone it would creep back, as they updated me on the progress of her papers. 

However, I had the most tender experience while in England. God calmed my soul. The tears are still in full force, but I have had my own confirmation. Visiting Kenny's mission is one of the best things I have ever been able to experience. Sitting in the homes of those Kenny taught, and listening to their stories touched me in such a personal way. I felt such overwhelming love for my husband, love for the gospel, love for missionary work, and more specifically such excitement for my sister. I would go with her if I could. 

I now just want to weep. Weep for the joy she will experience. Seeing Kenny with those he taught was one of the greatest joys of my life. I want that for my sister. I want her to be able to feel the spirit deeper and stronger than she's ever felt before. I want her to learn to love a new area, and a people different than Utah. I want her personality to be the answer to someone's prayers. I want her to find someone else to be the answer to hers. I want her to understand how God needs her talents, personality, and love for life in this work. I want her to able to write about her experiences to Trevor. What a beautiful building experience this will be for their relationship. 

I want her to experience all of the adventure that come from serving a mission. Even if that means I won't have my best friend here with me for awhile. It's only fair I share her. Not everyone gets to have a madison born into their family. Or perhaps she is going because I'm such a superlative missionary writer...either way. 

Here. We. Go. Again. 

I will keep you posted, her call should be here today! 

I'm hoping in 2 years time I'll be picking her up from her mission so she can show me a little bit more of heart the way I was able to do in Ghana. So crazy looking back at how much life we've experience together.